There was gonna be more to this post but honestly Laguna is a himbo and we all know it. What else is there to say.
Essays / General Screaming
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Why I love the big-ass buildings of FF8
Posting yesterday about the Horizon Bridge reminded me that I’m fascinated by massive human-made structures. Not even ones that were actually constructed. In high school, I loved reading […]
Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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How long is the Horizon Bridge anyway, good lord
In Final Fantasy VIII, there is a massive bridge spanning Galbadia continent to Esthar continent. It is totally impractical to build a bridge between continents, and it’s especially […]
Characters / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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SeeD: An elite mercenary force? No
SeeD is a Garden-related pun, but it has another meaning. Are they actually meeting their goals? Let’s break this down…
Characters / Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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The Sorceress’ Knight is the Best Romance Trope Ever and Yes, I Will Die on This Hill
The Sorceress’ Knight is a gift to humanity. It is the pinnacle of bodyguard fiction, the zenith of courtly love. It is love and devotion and care wrapped up into one role and it is delicious.
Blog Updates
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Now you can yell at me if you want
aka there is now a contact form. Please be nice or send me your cool Final Fantasy VIII things for the next mailbag post.
Characters / Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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The Waltz for the Moon scene is more than just a dance
One of the most iconic scenes from Final Fantasy VIII is the “Waltz for the Moon” ballroom dance. It’s the first time in the narrative that we see […]
Characters
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Every FF8 boss ranked based on how bad they could fuck you up IRL
A reasonable attempt to determine how fucked we’d truly be in the world of FF8.
Characters / General Screaming / Nonsense
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Squall is so talented that he drinks from his eyeball
Can your favorite protagonist drink from his eyeball while also being the best looking guy there? I think not. Squall 1- everyone else 0.
Essays / Game Mechanics
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Ultimecia’s most dangerous weapon is breaking the rules
My all-time favorite fighting game character is Aganos from the 2013 reboot of Killer Instinct. Rather than just having a slightly different set of punches and kicks, Aganos […]
History
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The FF8 tech demo we’ll never see again
When Sony announced the PlayStation 2, they started a year-long marketing machine that sent it into stratospheric levels of hype. If you didn’t witness it as it was […]
Creativity
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My Cactuar cookies are begging to die
Last year for Christmas, my family and friends (including site contributor AL) received Cactuar cookies. Someone was selling a set of incredible Final Fantasy cookie cutters on Etsy, […]
Characters / General Screaming
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Get you a man who will jump into the infinite void of space for you
My expectations of romance are completely unrealistic because I watched Squall jump into space with absolutely no backup plan on how to save either of them when I […]
Nonsense
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Quiz: Are you a fan of Final Fantasy VIII?
Are you a fan of Final Fantasy VIII? This quiz will finally help you figure it out!
Characters / General Screaming / Nonsense
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Dude, you can launch a dog off your arm
What’s not to love about a game where a legit move is that you can launch your pet dog off your arm to attack your enemies????
History
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Window-shopping for the least popular Final Fantasy VIII merchandise
FFVIII was the follow-up to one of the games that defined the concept of blockbuster game marketing. Final Fantasy VII was an event, and Square marketed it that […]
Game Mechanics / Nonsense
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You cannot eat Rinoa but it was worth trying
A profile in hunger.
Characters / Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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Selphie is a lovable, destructive menace
I have always defended characters in Final Fantasy VIII who are actually great characters (not you Quistis. You’re a creep.). I’ve written an entire piece on my personal […]
Game Mechanics
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Devour, the least necessary (and greatest) ability in the Final Fantasy series
There are two incredibly funny things about the Devour ability in Final Fantasy VIII.
General Screaming / Music
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Final Fantasy VIII has the best OST of any of the FF games, and it’s not even close
Now that I’m here as a contributor, let me just get this out of the way. The soundtrack for Final Fantasy VIII is the best of any of […]
Blog Updates
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Please welcome our new contributor
Please welcome our newest contributor, AL, who has even more unhinged opinions about Final Fantasy VIII than I do.
Mail Bad
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Mail Bad #1: You People Are Also Weird About FF8
I was going to call this “Mail Bag,” but I made a typo and it’s too late to change it now.
Creativity / Music / Other People Who Get It
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Musical interlude: Lacey Johnson covers “The Landing”
The ship landing sequence in Dollet at the beginning of Disc 1 has to be the most iconic sequence in Final Fantasy VIII. It’s a slow ramp-up to […]
History
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The game magazine that spent two years taunting a Final Fantasy VIII hater
I’m unsure how popular GameNOW magazine was, but over the course of two years, they pulled off one of the weirdest running gags I’ve seen in a game […]
Characters / General Screaming
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Posture check for Rinoa
Girl what the hell your skeleton isn’t supposed to do that. No wonder you’re asleep for the entire Disc 3, your upper back’s gotta feel like shit. Have fun Angelo Searching for Motrin when you’re 30.
Creativity / Nonsense / Regrettable Things
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Moments in obsession: the incoherent Mario fangame I made at age 11 where Luigi crosses over with Final Fantasy VIII
Today I’m gonna share something I rarely take out of the mothballs. When I was in elementary school, I was a novice amateur game maker who exclusively used […]
Essays
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We are stuck in 2007
Unless you’re deep in the film world, you’ve probably never had to read Raising Kane, an explosively controversial essay by film critic Pauline Kael, alleging that Citizen Kane […]
History / Nonsense
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Who would win: Final Fantasy VIII vs 2000 Toyota Echo
In 1999, Squaresoft promoted the release of Final Fantasy VIII by giving away a 2000 Toyota Echo to one lucky winner who pre-ordered the game at participating retailers. Which raises the question: Which is more valuable today?
Creativity
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I made a Final Fantasy VIII car in Forza Horizon 5 and drove it off a cliff
This is how I feel every day.