eat my ass
Characters / Nonsense
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T-Rexaur is one of the most powerful creatures in the entire Final Fantasy universe
According to the Scan text for T-Rexaur, it has been “alive since the beginning of time.”
THE BEGINNING OF TIME.
Blog Updates
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In the Bay Area? Come see this extremely suspicious panel that’s definitely about Final Fantasy VII (Sept. 28 ’24)
Come see a panel at MAGWest that is definitely not a trap! It’s not a trap.
Music
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“My Mind” is the weird duet that game music needed
Something I’ve appreciated more and more about Final Fantasy VIII‘s soundtrack over the years is how weird it is. By 1999, the Final Fantasy series had been around […]
Characters / General Screaming
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It’s Shut the Fuck Up Saturday again
Irvine shut the fuck up. What the fuck. Leave her alone.
Characters / General Screaming
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It’s Shut the Fuck Up Saturday
Quistis, shut the fuck up. What the fuck.
Characters / Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore / Personal Stories
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The love story IS the story
I’ve played Final Fantasy VIII all the way through twice: first when it came out, when I was around 10 years old, then again in 2022 at the […]
Characters / Nonsense
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Big Selphie isn’t real and can’t hurt you
If Big Selphie was real, she would ride on the outside of the train.
Characters / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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Who’s eating flowers at Balamb Garden?
If you look through the Balamb Garden website, you can find announcement from the Library Committee, which sheds some light on the books that the students at Balamb […]
Characters / Other People Who Get It
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This Rinoa fansite has been been running since 1999, and we are visitor 2000000
Today, we salute a veteran of the hopeless cause of FF8 fandom: Sheila Knight, whose Rinoa Heartilly fansite Rebelling Princess has been running for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS.
Characters / General Screaming / Nonsense
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I was not expecting Final Fantasy VIII to be the reason Phil learned that I am obsessed with measuring things
So, I am weird. I really, really like measuring things. I keep measuring tapes with me in multiple locations, including my office desk (where I have two types). […]
Characters / Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore / Regrettable Things
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I will not defend the amnesia orphanage twist but it’s better than that Zack shit
I’ll say it: I do not care for the orphanage plotline in Final Fantasy VIII. It comes out of nowhere with very little foreshadowing, and it’s just too […]
General Screaming
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Let’s listen to those goodass menu sounds
In this post, we appreciate the real damn good menu sound effects from FF8.
Mail Bad
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Mail Bad #3: Don’t Be Afraid (of sending me mail)
It’s time for another mail bag post! Thanks everyone for loving Final Fantasy VIII. We’ve got some good submissions this time, including a conspiracy theory that I can’t […]
Game Mechanics
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The Draw system makes grinding fun
I fucking hate grinding. I cannot fucking stand it. If your game has me gathering crystals to craft into a shield or whatever shit, I will instantly lose […]
Nonsense
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What could we do with every single copy of Final Fantasy VIII
Final Fantasy VIII was one of the best-selling PlayStation 1 games, which means a whole lot of four-disc jewel cases were manufactured for it. If we acquired every single copy of FF8 for PS1, what could we do with them?
Personal Stories / Regrettable Things
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That time I got bullied in middle school for liking FF8
A few times now on this blog, I have alluded to an incident when I got picked on because I liked Final Fantasy VIII. It is time to […]
Characters / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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It’s actually for the best that FF8 doesn’t let you play as a little freak
A random observation: Final Fantasy VIII breaks a streak of Final Fantasy games from 1994–2002 letting you play as freaky dudes.
Characters / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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Adel is incredibly ripped: an investigation
The following real conversation occurred between this blog’s editors Phil and AL when discussing how Sorceress Adel was able to achieve so much during her despotic rule and how she got so swole (and 23 feet tall).
Characters / Nonsense
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Laguna is a big himbo
There was gonna be more to this post but honestly Laguna is a himbo and we all know it. What else is there to say.
Essays / General Screaming
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Why I love the big-ass buildings of FF8
Posting yesterday about the Horizon Bridge reminded me that I’m fascinated by massive human-made structures. Not even ones that were actually constructed. In high school, I loved reading […]
Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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How long is the Horizon Bridge anyway, good lord
In Final Fantasy VIII, there is a massive bridge spanning Galbadia continent to Esthar continent. It is totally impractical to build a bridge between continents, and it’s especially […]
Characters / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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SeeD: An elite mercenary force? No
SeeD is a Garden-related pun, but it has another meaning. Are they actually meeting their goals? Let’s break this down…
Characters / Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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The Sorceress’ Knight is the Best Romance Trope Ever and Yes, I Will Die on This Hill
The Sorceress’ Knight is a gift to humanity. It is the pinnacle of bodyguard fiction, the zenith of courtly love. It is love and devotion and care wrapped up into one role and it is delicious.
Blog Updates
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Now you can yell at me if you want
aka there is now a contact form. Please be nice or send me your cool Final Fantasy VIII things for the next mailbag post.
Characters / Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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The Waltz for the Moon scene is more than just a dance
One of the most iconic scenes from Final Fantasy VIII is the “Waltz for the Moon” ballroom dance. It’s the first time in the narrative that we see […]
Characters
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Every FF8 boss ranked based on how bad they could fuck you up IRL
A reasonable attempt to determine how fucked we’d truly be in the world of FF8.
Characters / General Screaming / Nonsense
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Squall is so talented that he drinks from his eyeball
Can your favorite protagonist drink from his eyeball while also being the best looking guy there? I think not. Squall 1- everyone else 0.
Essays / Game Mechanics
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Ultimecia’s most dangerous weapon is breaking the rules
My all-time favorite fighting game character is Aganos from the 2013 reboot of Killer Instinct. Rather than just having a slightly different set of punches and kicks, Aganos […]
History
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The FF8 tech demo we’ll never see again
When Sony announced the PlayStation 2, they started a year-long marketing machine that sent it into stratospheric levels of hype. If you didn’t witness it as it was […]