Thank y’all for continuing to send in mail to this silly blog! Even though I don’t respond to every message, we read all of it, and we appreciate all you unhinged weirdos.
It’s been a while, so we’ve got a few things to address.
PuPu patter
A few months ago, reader Cynthia wrote in to inform us that “[she] will never devour the PuPu.” This led to a brief email back and forth where I explained that PuPu probably has the texture and flavor a marshmallow. Cynthia wrote back with some completely baseless speculation about the origins of PuPu’s name, desperately trying to connect it back to marshmallows in a way that resembled a conspiracy board (the order of this email has been rearranged to make more sense):
The PuPu has a different name in Japanese, Koyokoyo. Kōyō (lit. translation – Red Leaves) is the Japanese word or expression for the changing of leaves in Autumn to red, orange, and yellow. The main significance of Koyo is to stop and admire the beauty of Autumn leaves. The tip of the Pupu’s antenna is yellow, possibly signifying an Autumnal phase or their beauty and awe inspiring figure. We do stop and take time to watch the UFO at various locations after all.
With the Japanese name of PuPu (Koyokoyo), it’s hard to draw a parallel with marshmallows. I followed some ideas around the Hawaiian appetizer course, pū-pū. Midway through the development of FF VIII, some of the team went to Hawaii to work on FF IX. I couldn’t find any information on it, but it’s possible the localization team (who at the time was based in Tokyo) also went to Hawaii at some point.
[Now here’s the parts where our reader desperately attempts to connect this back to marshmallows.]
A pu pu platter is typically meat or seafood, and was initially for me a bust. With marshmallows in question, one could consider a plate of sweet treats, within reason, be called a dessert pu pu platter. It also wouldn’t be unreasonable to use a pu pu platter grill or flame to toast a marshmallow. Marshmallows when toasted turn shades of yellow and orange, perhaps like Autumn leaves in a way. A post pu pu toasted marshmallow might have a certain beauty to it, one that would be watched and admired by the toaster, lest it be burned.
Now what could all this mean? Eating a marshmallow would give you sugar, which is energy for the body. Eating a marshmallow would give you +1 speed. The PuPu could very well be a living marshmallow, perhaps a Hiyoko or Peeps.
[Several days later…]
Following up on that, I discussed a ‘eat the alien’ speedrun with a friend and discovered you can learn devour from refining the PuPu card into a hungry cookpot. The lore runs thicker than molasses.
Our readers have written in with some crackpot theories before (the absolute best being “Nobuo Uematsu stole the soundtrack to Final Fantasy 8 from Matlock”), and this is now among them. Even though “koyo” could just be a silly nonsense word (which video games are no stranger to), the idea that Koyokoyo (コヨコヨ) might be a pun on kōyō (紅葉) is intriguing, even if it barely makes sense. With that assumption in mind, I was almost willing to buy into the theory that PuPu is a stretch localization comparing the changing of the autumn leaves to the process of food changing color during the Maillard reaction, inspired by Square’s extended development team working in Hawaii.
But you know what’s easier to accept? That PuPu is a living Peep. They probably have little edible PuPu-shaped treats at their grocery stores for Easter. This year, for reasons, that are still unclear to me, I purchased a sleeve of Fruit Punch Peeps, and I imagine that exact flavor profile and gooey marshmallow core is what PuPu tastes like.
If anyone eats PuPu, you are permanently banned from this website.
The belt thickens. Tightens? …Whatever
Avid readers might remember back in Mail Bad #3 that reader Sara WHO HAD A CRUSH ON ZELL AND WE WON’T FORGET THAT sent a picture of an unusual Final Fantasy VIII belt buckle she has! I assumed it was counterfeit merchandise because of its odd, off-brand appearance and, by Sara’s recollection, “a small box that had screenshots of Final Fantasy VIII all over it.”
But then this post showed up on Tumblr from user quiettekiyet:
Lo and behold, there’s another belt! In the box! With the screenshots!
It’s not clear if these pictures come from poster or from the website where they found this. Either way, unfortunately there’s no picture of the back of the box, so we still can’t figure out the full story here. But the belt increasingly seems to be real Japanese merchandise. Mysterious and hard to find, but real!
Technically, this one was not sent into the blog, I just came across it. I’m counting it because Mail Bad is, apparently, the column where we debate the existence of The Belt.
Pair o’ Magic
A suspicious user under the name O. E. Academicus writes in about a recent, rare example of New FF8 Stuff:
Hi, have y’all heard about the “Magic: the Gathering” Final Fantasy set? What do you think about the FF8 cards shown so far (see https://scryfall.com/sets/fin?order=spoiled). [This email was sent before the card set was released.] Thanks for reading!
Although I’m not a Magic player or card collector of any form,1 I know there are some people who take card spoilers seriously, so if you’re trying to avoid learning about the Final Fantasy MTG cards, this is your warning to turn back now.
First off, it’s probably not a huge surprise that there’s not that many FF8 cards in the set. It makes sense that they would lean into the big popular games, which is why it’s largely VII, X, and XIV. But any excuse for modern, official FF8 stuff is appreciated, and there’s a couple cards that are especially wonderful.
First of all, PuPu UFO! What a delightful choice. It has weird abilities related to what he does in-game (abducting pyramids), and it’s a real deep pull from the cast of FF8. There’s no Selphie card (boo), there’s no Irvine card (yay), but they figured out the weirdo that all the FF8 fans would go nuts over (and, based on an earlier letter, want to eat).
Second, I love how they incorporated Balamb Garden into the set. It’s a Green (forest) or Blue (water) type, and you can make it switch between the two! I love it.
As a non-collector, most of what I like about this set is the new art. But have to give it up to the full-art cards that use the original game renders.
Holy SHIT y’all. This is the coolest that Edea has looked since 1999. I love the abstract stained glass background of moments from the game, alluding to Edea/Ultimecia’s time travel ability. I don’t know much about Magic, but evidently “Teferi” is a Magic character with time travel abilities, so that allusion must be there for the purposes of compatibility with other time-travel-related cards? Regardless, this is just an incredible-looking card. DAMN.
But I think the card that has the strongest place in my heart is the Jumbo Cactuar, not just because of the great artwork, not JUST because of the gimmick where it does 10,000 damage when it attacks, but because they also used this artwork for a set of card protectors that I got for free at Summer Game Fest. Gotta love the Jumbo Cactuar love.
A special cameo
Okay, one more that’s not actually a mailbag letter. This is more a reverse mailbag letter because I was the one asking someone about FF8, but I can’t let this pass by unacknowledged.
Since I mentioned that I was at Summer Game Fest: yes, we I made sure to speak with a very important fan of the cause.
I asked Ben Starr about the belt, and he says he’s never seen it before, despite all the FF8 stuff that fans bring him. (Also it was the end of a long day and my hair was a mess, please forgive me.)
- My brother and I briefly collected Magic cards around 2000 or 2001, until we realized that 1) we had learned the rules completely wrong, 2) we attempted to play it competitively with friends and lost spectacularly, and 3) the key to winning at Magic the Gathering is to spend a lot of money. At that point, we lost interest. ↩︎