eat my ass
Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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If you don’t like the Timber train heist, you suck
For about 20 minutes, Final Fantasy VIII completely changes genre and it’s fucking awesome. About midway into Disc 1, Squall and the SeeDs are enlisted to kidnap the […]
Characters / Nonsense
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Carbuncle is just a lil guy
Carbuncle is a recurring summon in the Final Fantasy series, but as always, Final Fantasy VIII does it best. Carbuncle is at its peak cuteness in VIII. Look […]
Characters / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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Laguna’s little green truck that goes beep beep, probably
At one point in FF8‘s development, Laguna had a little green truck that he would drive around Winhill when he was fighting monsters and performing general duties as […]
Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore / Nonsense
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Squall casually committed grand theft auto, but nobody cared because he also tried to assassinate the sorceress
Phil has declared that it is car week, and to honor car week, we’re gonna talk about the Tempest. What is that, you might ask? Tempest is the […]
Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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A review of Deling City’s only bus route
In Deling City, there is a single bus.
Game Mechanics / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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A salute to the car, the least vital transportation in FFVIII
Final Fantasy games usually let you get around the world in vehicles, each one letting you cross a different kind of terrain. You usually start out with a […]
Characters / General Screaming
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It is once again Shut the Fuck Up Saturday
Rinoa, shut the fuck up. Squall just watched his friends almost die in a missile/robot attack. This is not about you right now.
Music
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I dare you to listen to the Distant Worlds arrangement of “Love Grows” and not feel things
The Distant Worlds concert series has been touring the world playing Final Fantasy music for almost 20 years, and in that time, they’ve covered a lot of music! […]
Nonsense
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Please enjoy Squall and Selphie running around the Lunar Base at 500% speed
The stupidest post on a blog full of stupid posts.
Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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When did the Lunar Cry happen? We settle the debate
There’s a piece of lore that the internet can’t seem to agree on: When was the Lunar Cry that destroyed Centra?
Essays / Game Mechanics
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Don’t feel bad about missing (or skipping) the weapon crafting system in FF8
During my last playthrough of FF8, I used the Card Mod ability only once. At the very last minute before Ultimecia’s Castle, I went out of my way […]
Characters / Nonsense
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T-Rexaur is one of the most powerful creatures in the entire Final Fantasy universe
According to the Scan text for T-Rexaur, it has been “alive since the beginning of time.”
THE BEGINNING OF TIME.
Blog Updates
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In the Bay Area? Come see this extremely suspicious panel that’s definitely about Final Fantasy VII (Sept. 28 ’24)
Come see a panel at MAGWest that is definitely not a trap! It’s not a trap.
Essays / Music
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“My Mind” is the weird duet that game music needed
Something I’ve appreciated more and more about Final Fantasy VIII‘s soundtrack over the years is how weird it is. By 1999, the Final Fantasy series had been around […]
Characters / General Screaming
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It’s Shut the Fuck Up Saturday again
Irvine shut the fuck up. What the fuck. Leave her alone.
Characters / General Screaming
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It’s Shut the Fuck Up Saturday
Quistis, shut the fuck up. What the fuck.
Characters / Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore / Personal Stories
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The love story IS the story
I’ve played Final Fantasy VIII all the way through twice: first when it came out, when I was around 10 years old, then again in 2022 at the […]
Characters / Nonsense
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Big Selphie isn’t real and can’t hurt you
If Big Selphie was real, she would ride on the outside of the train.
Characters / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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Who’s eating flowers at Balamb Garden?
If you look through the Balamb Garden website, you can find announcement from the Library Committee, which sheds some light on the books that the students at Balamb […]
Characters / Other People Who Get It
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This Rinoa fansite has been been running since 1999, and we are visitor 2000000
Today, we salute a veteran of the hopeless cause of FF8 fandom: Sheila Knight, whose Rinoa Heartilly fansite Rebelling Princess has been running for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS.
Characters / General Screaming / Nonsense
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I was not expecting Final Fantasy VIII to be the reason Phil learned that I am obsessed with measuring things
So, I am weird. I really, really like measuring things. I keep measuring tapes with me in multiple locations, including my office desk (where I have two types). […]
Characters / Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore / Regrettable Things
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I will not defend the amnesia orphanage twist but it’s better than that Zack shit
I’ll say it: I do not care for the orphanage plotline in Final Fantasy VIII. It comes out of nowhere with very little foreshadowing, and it’s just too […]
General Screaming
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Let’s listen to those goodass menu sounds
In this post, we appreciate the real damn good menu sound effects from FF8.
Mail Bad
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Mail Bad #3: Don’t Be Afraid (of sending me mail)
It’s time for another mail bag post! Thanks everyone for loving Final Fantasy VIII. We’ve got some good submissions this time, including a conspiracy theory that I can’t […]
Game Mechanics
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The Draw system makes grinding fun
I fucking hate grinding. I cannot fucking stand it. If your game has me gathering crystals to craft into a shield or whatever shit, I will instantly lose […]
Nonsense
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What could we do with every single copy of Final Fantasy VIII
Final Fantasy VIII was one of the best-selling PlayStation 1 games, which means a whole lot of four-disc jewel cases were manufactured for it. If we acquired every single copy of FF8 for PS1, what could we do with them?
Personal Stories / Regrettable Things
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That time I got bullied in middle school for liking FF8
A few times now on this blog, I have alluded to an incident when I got picked on because I liked Final Fantasy VIII. It is time to […]
Characters / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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It’s actually for the best that FF8 doesn’t let you play as a little freak
A random observation: Final Fantasy VIII breaks a streak of Final Fantasy games from 1994–2002 letting you play as freaky dudes.
Characters / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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Adel is incredibly ripped: an investigation
The following real conversation occurred between this blog’s editors Phil and AL when discussing how Sorceress Adel was able to achieve so much during her despotic rule and how she got so swole (and 23 feet tall).