eat my ass
Nonsense
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Whoever designs the foldout beds in the world of FF8 should be imprisoned
FF8 has some of the most sumptuously rendered beds in a PS1 game, and also some of the most uncomfortable beds ever designed.
Characters / Essays / Game Mechanics / History
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Not being able to name your party in FF8 was a bold break from tradition
The first seven numbered Final Fantasy games let you name your characters. Final Fantasy VIII is the first one that in the series, for the most part, doesn’t. […]
Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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Wait what the fuck, magic spells have only existed for like 20 years???
Hold the fuck on. HOLD the fuck on. On the Balamb Garden Network computers, there’s a bit of lore that completely upends my understanding of the world of FF8.
Music / Nonsense
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“Eyes On Me” is a better CD single than “Blue (Da Ba Dee)”
In my life, I have purchased two CD singles: “Eyes On Me” and “Blue (Da Be Dee).” One of these was a great purchase.
Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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I wish we had seen more of Ultimecia’s bad future
I realized recently that I really enjoy apocalyptic fiction. Not post-apocalyptic, where everything is destroyed and you’re rummaging around for nails and bug meat or whatever is supposed […]
General Screaming / Other People Who Get It
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To the guy I just high-fived at the train station…
You’re absolutely correct that FF8 tonberry is best tonberry. You know what’s up. Here is the Tonberry King as a representative of the best design for the tonberry […]
General Screaming / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore / Nonsense
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The rawest moment in all of Final Fantasy VIII
There are a lot of moments in Final Fantasy VIII that could be categorized as “raw,” which is part of what makes the game so cool. However, there […]
Characters / Nonsense
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Seifer got that grandpa fit
Phil recently brought up Seifer’s duster jacket and its journey through the story of Final Fantasy VIII, but I wanna bring up his grandpa fit. Do you SEE […]
Characters / Nonsense
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Do you think Seifer cleans his pristine ankle-length coat by hand
Dude’s gotta be walking through dirt and puddles but that thing looks immaculate across three discs. What is the dry cleaning situation in Galbadia?
Creativity / Other People Who Get It / Personal Stories
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I tied Rinoa at Triple Triad and got a ribbon for my effort
Last week was Super MAGFest, the Music and Gaming Festival in National Harbor, MD. I don’t go to events expecting there to be a Final Fantasy VIII presence, […]
Characters / Creativity / Other People Who Get It
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A holiday themed appreciation post for the incredible fan art by Skribleskrable
The holidays are coming up next week, so there is no better time than now to do an appreciation post for one of (if not the) greatest Final […]
Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore / Personal Stories / Regrettable Things
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Final Fantasy VIII is the most accurate any video game has ever been about libraries
Serials Crisis Core.
Other People Who Get It
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Thank you GINX TV for insisting on asking every voice actor about Final Fantasy VIII for some reason
A disproportionate amount of their videos are asking voice actors why they like Final Fantasy VIII.
Music / Nonsense / Regrettable Things
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I had three glasses of wine at Friendsgiving and tried to play “Eyes On Me” on the host’s piano
In fairness, it’s their fault for having a copy of Piano Collections: Final Fantasy VIII sitting out.
Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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If you don’t like the Timber train heist, you suck
For about 20 minutes, Final Fantasy VIII completely changes genre and it’s fucking awesome. About midway into Disc 1, Squall and the SeeDs are enlisted to kidnap the […]
Characters / Nonsense
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Carbuncle is just a lil guy
Carbuncle is a recurring summon in the Final Fantasy series, but as always, Final Fantasy VIII does it best. Carbuncle is at its peak cuteness in VIII. Look […]
Characters / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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Laguna’s little green truck that goes beep beep, probably
At one point in FF8‘s development, Laguna had a little green truck that he would drive around Winhill when he was fighting monsters and performing general duties as […]
Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore / Nonsense
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Squall casually committed grand theft auto, but nobody cared because he also tried to assassinate the sorceress
Phil has declared that it is car week, and to honor car week, we’re gonna talk about the Tempest. What is that, you might ask? Tempest is the […]
Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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A review of Deling City’s only bus route
In Deling City, there is a single bus.
Game Mechanics / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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A salute to the car, the least vital transportation in FFVIII
Final Fantasy games usually let you get around the world in vehicles, each one letting you cross a different kind of terrain. You usually start out with a […]
Characters / General Screaming
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It is once again Shut the Fuck Up Saturday
Rinoa, shut the fuck up. Squall just watched his friends almost die in a missile/robot attack. This is not about you right now.
Music
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I dare you to listen to the Distant Worlds arrangement of “Love Grows” and not feel things
The Distant Worlds concert series has been touring the world playing Final Fantasy music for almost 20 years, and in that time, they’ve covered a lot of music! […]
Nonsense
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Please enjoy Squall and Selphie running around the Lunar Base at 500% speed
The stupidest post on a blog full of stupid posts.
Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore
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When did the Lunar Cry happen? We settle the debate
There’s a piece of lore that the internet can’t seem to agree on: When was the Lunar Cry that destroyed Centra?
Essays / Game Mechanics
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Don’t feel bad about missing (or skipping) the weapon crafting system in FF8
During my last playthrough of FF8, I used the Card Mod ability only once. At the very last minute before Ultimecia’s Castle, I went out of my way […]
Characters / Nonsense
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T-Rexaur is one of the most powerful creatures in the entire Final Fantasy universe
According to the Scan text for T-Rexaur, it has been “alive since the beginning of time.”
THE BEGINNING OF TIME.
Blog Updates
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In the Bay Area? Come see this extremely suspicious panel that’s definitely about Final Fantasy VII (Sept. 28 ’24)
Come see a panel at MAGWest that is definitely not a trap! It’s not a trap.
Essays / Music
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“My Mind” is the weird duet that game music needed
Something I’ve appreciated more and more about Final Fantasy VIII‘s soundtrack over the years is how weird it is. By 1999, the Final Fantasy series had been around […]
Characters / General Screaming
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It’s Shut the Fuck Up Saturday again
Irvine shut the fuck up. What the fuck. Leave her alone.