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Final Fantasy VIII is the Best

And If You Don't Agree I Will Destroy You

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I wish we had seen more of Ultimecia’s bad future
Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore

I wish we had seen more of Ultimecia’s bad future

Posted on: March 14, 2025March 13, 2025

I realized recently that I really enjoy apocalyptic fiction. Not post-apocalyptic, where everything is destroyed and you’re rummaging around for nails and bug meat or whatever is supposed […]

The Sorceress’ Knight is the Best Romance Trope Ever and Yes, I Will Die on This Hill
Characters / Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore

The Sorceress’ Knight is the Best Romance Trope Ever and Yes, I Will Die on This Hill

Posted on: March 4, 2024March 3, 2024

The Sorceress’ Knight is a gift to humanity. It is the pinnacle of bodyguard fiction, the zenith of courtly love. It is love and devotion and care wrapped up into one role and it is delicious.

Every FF8 boss ranked based on how bad they could fuck you up IRL
Characters

Every FF8 boss ranked based on how bad they could fuck you up IRL

Posted on: March 3, 2024November 6, 2024

A reasonable attempt to determine how fucked we’d truly be in the world of FF8.

Ultimecia’s most dangerous weapon is breaking the rules
Essays / Game Mechanics

Ultimecia’s most dangerous weapon is breaking the rules

Posted on: March 2, 2024March 13, 2025

My all-time favorite fighting game character is Aganos from the 2013 reboot of Killer Instinct. Rather than just having a slightly different set of punches and kicks, Aganos […]

The game magazine that spent two years taunting a Final Fantasy VIII hater
History

The game magazine that spent two years taunting a Final Fantasy VIII hater

Posted on: February 27, 2024April 13, 2025

I’m unsure how popular GameNOW magazine was, but over the course of two years, they pulled off one of the weirdest running gags I’ve seen in a game […]

Recent Posts

  • Whoever designs the foldout beds in the world of FF8 should be imprisoned
  • Not being able to name your party in FF8 was a bold break from tradition
  • Wait what the fuck, magic spells have only existed for like 20 years???
  • “Eyes On Me” is a better CD single than “Blue (Da Ba Dee)”
  • I wish we had seen more of Ultimecia’s bad future

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