For about 20 minutes, Final Fantasy VIII completely changes genre and it’s fucking awesome. About midway into Disc 1, Squall and the SeeDs are enlisted to kidnap the […]
Laguna’s little green truck that goes beep beep, probably
At one point in FF8‘s development, Laguna had a little green truck that he would drive around Winhill when he was fighting monsters and performing general duties as […]
Squall casually committed grand theft auto, but nobody cared because he also tried to assassinate the sorceress
Phil has declared that it is car week, and to honor car week, we’re gonna talk about the Tempest. What is that, you might ask? Tempest is the […]
A review of Deling City’s only bus route
In Deling City, there is a single bus.
A salute to the car, the least vital transportation in FFVIII
Final Fantasy games usually let you get around the world in vehicles, each one letting you cross a different kind of terrain. You usually start out with a […]
When did the Lunar Cry happen? We settle the debate
There’s a piece of lore that the internet can’t seem to agree on: When was the Lunar Cry that destroyed Centra?
The love story IS the story
I’ve played Final Fantasy VIII all the way through twice: first when it came out, when I was around 10 years old, then again in 2022 at the […]
Who’s eating flowers at Balamb Garden?
If you look through the Balamb Garden website, you can find announcement from the Library Committee, which sheds some light on the books that the students at Balamb […]
I will not defend the amnesia orphanage twist but it’s better than that Zack shit
I’ll say it: I do not care for the orphanage plotline in Final Fantasy VIII. It comes out of nowhere with very little foreshadowing, and it’s just too […]
It’s actually for the best that FF8 doesn’t let you play as a little freak
A random observation: Final Fantasy VIII breaks a streak of Final Fantasy games from 1994–2002 letting you play as freaky dudes.
Adel is incredibly ripped: an investigation
The following real conversation occurred between this blog’s editors Phil and AL when discussing how Sorceress Adel was able to achieve so much during her despotic rule and how she got so swole (and 23 feet tall).
How long is the Horizon Bridge anyway, good lord
In Final Fantasy VIII, there is a massive bridge spanning Galbadia continent to Esthar continent. It is totally impractical to build a bridge between continents, and it’s especially […]
SeeD: An elite mercenary force? No
SeeD is a Garden-related pun, but it has another meaning. Are they actually meeting their goals? Let’s break this down…
The Sorceress’ Knight is the Best Romance Trope Ever and Yes, I Will Die on This Hill
The Sorceress’ Knight is a gift to humanity. It is the pinnacle of bodyguard fiction, the zenith of courtly love. It is love and devotion and care wrapped up into one role and it is delicious.
The Waltz for the Moon scene is more than just a dance
One of the most iconic scenes from Final Fantasy VIII is the “Waltz for the Moon” ballroom dance. It’s the first time in the narrative that we see […]
Selphie is a lovable, destructive menace
I have always defended characters in Final Fantasy VIII who are actually great characters (not you Quistis. You’re a creep.). I’ve written an entire piece on my personal […]