At one point in FF8‘s development, Laguna had a little green truck that he would drive around Winhill when he was fighting monsters and performing general duties as […]
Squall casually committed grand theft auto, but nobody cared because he also tried to assassinate the sorceress
Phil has declared that it is car week, and to honor car week, we’re gonna talk about the Tempest. What is that, you might ask? Tempest is the […]
It is once again Shut the Fuck Up Saturday
Rinoa, shut the fuck up. Squall just watched his friends almost die in a missile/robot attack. This is not about you right now.
Please enjoy Squall and Selphie running around the Lunar Base at 500% speed
The stupidest post on a blog full of stupid posts.
“My Mind” is the weird duet that game music needed
Something I’ve appreciated more and more about Final Fantasy VIII‘s soundtrack over the years is how weird it is. By 1999, the Final Fantasy series had been around […]
The love story IS the story
I’ve played Final Fantasy VIII all the way through twice: first when it came out, when I was around 10 years old, then again in 2022 at the […]
Who’s eating flowers at Balamb Garden?
If you look through the Balamb Garden website, you can find announcement from the Library Committee, which sheds some light on the books that the students at Balamb […]
I was not expecting Final Fantasy VIII to be the reason Phil learned that I am obsessed with measuring things
So, I am weird. I really, really like measuring things. I keep measuring tapes with me in multiple locations, including my office desk (where I have two types). […]
I will not defend the amnesia orphanage twist but it’s better than that Zack shit
I’ll say it: I do not care for the orphanage plotline in Final Fantasy VIII. It comes out of nowhere with very little foreshadowing, and it’s just too […]
Mail Bad #3: Don’t Be Afraid (of sending me mail)
It’s time for another mail bag post! Thanks everyone for loving Final Fantasy VIII. We’ve got some good submissions this time, including a conspiracy theory that I can’t […]
How long is the Horizon Bridge anyway, good lord
In Final Fantasy VIII, there is a massive bridge spanning Galbadia continent to Esthar continent. It is totally impractical to build a bridge between continents, and it’s especially […]
SeeD: An elite mercenary force? No
SeeD is a Garden-related pun, but it has another meaning. Are they actually meeting their goals? Let’s break this down…
The Sorceress’ Knight is the Best Romance Trope Ever and Yes, I Will Die on This Hill
The Sorceress’ Knight is a gift to humanity. It is the pinnacle of bodyguard fiction, the zenith of courtly love. It is love and devotion and care wrapped up into one role and it is delicious.
The Waltz for the Moon scene is more than just a dance
One of the most iconic scenes from Final Fantasy VIII is the “Waltz for the Moon” ballroom dance. It’s the first time in the narrative that we see […]
Squall is so talented that he drinks from his eyeball
Can your favorite protagonist drink from his eyeball while also being the best looking guy there? I think not. Squall 1- everyone else 0.
Get you a man who will jump into the infinite void of space for you
My expectations of romance are completely unrealistic because I watched Squall jump into space with absolutely no backup plan on how to save either of them when I […]
We are stuck in 2007
Unless you’re deep in the film world, you’ve probably never had to read Raising Kane, an explosively controversial essay by film critic Pauline Kael, alleging that Citizen Kane […]
FFVIII was the biggest game in the world once and people were weird about it
Remember that Final Fantasy VIII was the follow-up to one of the biggest and most explosively marketed video games of all time. It was hugely anticipated, gracing the […]
“Eyes on Me” is great even though/because the lyrics are a mess
As a weird 10-year-old, “Eyes on Me” was the epitome of romance to me. I was not a kid who thought much about romance apart from reading 30 […]