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Final Fantasy VIII is the Best

And If You Don't Agree I Will Destroy You

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Not being able to name your party in FF8 was a bold break from tradition
Characters / Essays / Game Mechanics / History

Not being able to name your party in FF8 was a bold break from tradition

Posted on: April 13, 2025April 13, 2025

The first seven numbered Final Fantasy games let you name your characters. Final Fantasy VIII is the first one that in the series, for the most part, doesn’t. […]

I tied Rinoa at Triple Triad and got a ribbon for my effort
Creativity / Other People Who Get It / Personal Stories

I tied Rinoa at Triple Triad and got a ribbon for my effort

Posted on: February 2, 2025February 20, 2025

Last week was Super MAGFest, the Music and Gaming Festival in National Harbor, MD. I don’t go to events expecting there to be a Final Fantasy VIII presence, […]

A holiday themed appreciation post for the incredible fan art by Skribleskrable
Characters / Creativity / Other People Who Get It

A holiday themed appreciation post for the incredible fan art by Skribleskrable

Posted on: December 20, 2024

The holidays are coming up next week, so there is no better time than now to do an appreciation post for one of (if not the) greatest Final […]

Laguna’s little green truck that goes beep beep, probably
Characters / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore

Laguna’s little green truck that goes beep beep, probably

Posted on: November 1, 2024February 2, 2025

At one point in FF8‘s development, Laguna had a little green truck that he would drive around Winhill when he was fighting monsters and performing general duties as […]

Squall casually committed grand theft auto, but nobody cared because he also tried to assassinate the sorceress
Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore / Nonsense

Squall casually committed grand theft auto, but nobody cared because he also tried to assassinate the sorceress

Posted on: October 30, 2024February 2, 2025

Phil has declared that it is car week, and to honor car week, we’re gonna talk about the Tempest. What is that, you might ask? Tempest is the […]

It is once again Shut the Fuck Up Saturday
Characters / General Screaming

It is once again Shut the Fuck Up Saturday

Posted on: October 26, 2024October 26, 2024

Rinoa, shut the fuck up. Squall just watched his friends almost die in a missile/robot attack. This is not about you right now.

Please enjoy Squall and Selphie running around the Lunar Base at 500% speed
Nonsense

Please enjoy Squall and Selphie running around the Lunar Base at 500% speed

Posted on: October 22, 2024October 28, 2024

The stupidest post on a blog full of stupid posts.

“My Mind” is the weird duet that game music needed
Essays / Music

“My Mind” is the weird duet that game music needed

Posted on: September 3, 2024October 29, 2024

Something I’ve appreciated more and more about Final Fantasy VIII‘s soundtrack over the years is how weird it is. By 1999, the Final Fantasy series had been around […]

The love story IS the story
Characters / Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore / Personal Stories

The love story IS the story

Posted on: April 30, 2024October 27, 2024

I’ve played Final Fantasy VIII all the way through twice: first when it came out, when I was around 10 years old, then again in 2022 at the […]

Who’s eating flowers at Balamb Garden?
Characters / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore

Who’s eating flowers at Balamb Garden?

Posted on: April 29, 2024April 6, 2025

If you look through the Balamb Garden website, you can find announcement from the Library Committee, which sheds some light on the books that the students at Balamb […]

I was not expecting Final Fantasy VIII to be the reason Phil learned that I am obsessed with measuring things
Characters / General Screaming / Nonsense

I was not expecting Final Fantasy VIII to be the reason Phil learned that I am obsessed with measuring things

Posted on: April 25, 2024April 28, 2024

So, I am weird. I really, really like measuring things. I keep measuring tapes with me in multiple locations, including my office desk (where I have two types). […]

I will not defend the amnesia orphanage twist but it’s better than that Zack shit
Characters / Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore / Regrettable Things

I will not defend the amnesia orphanage twist but it’s better than that Zack shit

Posted on: April 6, 2024April 13, 2025

I’ll say it: I do not care for the orphanage plotline in Final Fantasy VIII. It comes out of nowhere with very little foreshadowing, and it’s just too […]

Mail Bad #3: Don’t Be Afraid (of sending me mail)
Mail Bad

Mail Bad #3: Don’t Be Afraid (of sending me mail)

Posted on: March 31, 2024April 1, 2024

It’s time for another mail bag post! Thanks everyone for loving Final Fantasy VIII. We’ve got some good submissions this time, including a conspiracy theory that I can’t […]

How long is the Horizon Bridge anyway, good lord
Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore

How long is the Horizon Bridge anyway, good lord

Posted on: March 8, 2024April 13, 2025

In Final Fantasy VIII, there is a massive bridge spanning Galbadia continent to Esthar continent. It is totally impractical to build a bridge between continents, and it’s especially […]

SeeD: An elite mercenary force? No
Characters / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore

SeeD: An elite mercenary force? No

Posted on: March 5, 2024March 31, 2024

SeeD is a Garden-related pun, but it has another meaning. Are they actually meeting their goals? Let’s break this down…

The Sorceress’ Knight is the Best Romance Trope Ever and Yes, I Will Die on This Hill
Characters / Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore

The Sorceress’ Knight is the Best Romance Trope Ever and Yes, I Will Die on This Hill

Posted on: March 4, 2024March 3, 2024

The Sorceress’ Knight is a gift to humanity. It is the pinnacle of bodyguard fiction, the zenith of courtly love. It is love and devotion and care wrapped up into one role and it is delicious.

The Waltz for the Moon scene is more than just a dance
Characters / Essays / Narrative, Dialogue, & Lore

The Waltz for the Moon scene is more than just a dance

Posted on: March 3, 2024March 10, 2025

One of the most iconic scenes from Final Fantasy VIII is the “Waltz for the Moon” ballroom dance. It’s the first time in the narrative that we see […]

Squall is so talented that he drinks from his eyeball
Characters / General Screaming / Nonsense

Squall is so talented that he drinks from his eyeball

Posted on: March 2, 2024November 29, 2024

Can your favorite protagonist drink from his eyeball while also being the best looking guy there? I think not. Squall 1- everyone else 0.

Get you a man who will jump into the infinite void of space for you
Characters / General Screaming

Get you a man who will jump into the infinite void of space for you

Posted on: March 1, 2024October 27, 2024

My expectations of romance are completely unrealistic because I watched Squall jump into space with absolutely no backup plan on how to save either of them when I […]

We are stuck in 2007
Essays

We are stuck in 2007

Posted on: February 26, 2024April 13, 2025

Unless you’re deep in the film world, you’ve probably never had to read Raising Kane, an explosively controversial essay by film critic Pauline Kael, alleging that Citizen Kane […]

FFVIII was the biggest game in the world once and people were weird about it
History / Regrettable Things

FFVIII was the biggest game in the world once and people were weird about it

Posted on: February 24, 2024February 25, 2024

Remember that Final Fantasy VIII was the follow-up to one of the biggest and most explosively marketed video games of all time. It was hugely anticipated, gracing the […]

“Eyes on Me” is great even though/because the lyrics are a mess
Essays / Music

“Eyes on Me” is great even though/because the lyrics are a mess

Posted on: February 24, 2024February 28, 2024

As a weird 10-year-old, “Eyes on Me” was the epitome of romance to me. I was not a kid who thought much about romance apart from reading 30 […]

Recent Posts

  • Whoever designs the foldout beds in the world of FF8 should be imprisoned
  • Not being able to name your party in FF8 was a bold break from tradition
  • Wait what the fuck, magic spells have only existed for like 20 years???
  • “Eyes On Me” is a better CD single than “Blue (Da Ba Dee)”
  • I wish we had seen more of Ultimecia’s bad future

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